Eyes Wide Open


Today kicked me on my ass. I came to some realizations with both work, and life that I've been hiding from myself for a while now. Since writing that post on 7/15, my eyes have been opening little by little. Man, these past 4 months I went completely out of my healthy headspace. That's ok, I'm waking up, and starting to own up to my bullshit, and create solutions. Its a process for sure, but I am back on the right path.

Almost all day I cried, I just let every emotion I've been holding back for who knows how many months before this move out! I needed that more than I knew. Both mentally, and physically, I'm drained. However, not only has a massive weight been lifted, but a door has been opened showing what the realities are. 

This post is step one with me getting out of my comfort zone and sharing the whole journey. Now, possibly more than ever I realize the job is not done. Becoming complacent in my new house, reveling in this new home has been fun, though this move was executed with purpose for more. Moving was intended to be a stepping stone towards a healthy start for myself and my son. Time to get to stepping.

"More" means melting excuses, and putting in the work. Part of this journey is the road itself. I want to model hard work for my son; Specifically hard work with the purpose of working to live, not just showing the grind and collapse. Life needs to be lived while goals are crushed. Always inspired by Gary V to live life with good intent, and enjoy the hell out of the journey. Time to mix it up, grind it out, but enjoy the small moments along the way. And strive to become the person I want to become. 

Without something to look forward to, I've found myself struggling to work towards anything. For now, looking forward to game night, or a walk at the botanical gardens are small steps in the right direction. This is the LARGEST takeaway thus far from how I accomplished the goal to buy a home. Buying a home, I did it with blinders on, all grind, no life in the process. Time is the most valuable thing we all currently own, and no one gives it back. Without regret, I push forward with intent to live life in search of joyful moments, learning, and striving to find where my full potential lies.

Sometimes these posts may be unorganized, and rough around the edges. For me, that's the beauty of it, because its an honest window into my mind. More importantly, it draws out the unorganized chaos, and helps me make sense of it. No apology here. 

-Staceuosity 💙