Birthday Promise to Myself!
9/2/2020 9:3PM PST
While brushing my teeth getting ready for bed, I came to the conclusion that this will be a sober birthday tomorrow. An ongoing battle has ran through my head all day. Do I drink or splurge a little on food? The short answer is yes. All signs pointed towards no drinking. I'm pretty sure my instincts knew that drinking and splurging aren't in my heart this year. With that said, if I mess up tomorrow and drink or eat poorly, it's okay. Guess what, Friday I'll get back to breaking boundaries and crushing goals!
Isn't it funny that we do some of our best thinking in the bathroom. Most of the time its the shower for me. For whatever reason, tonight it was brushing my teeth that gave me instant clarity. My brain wasn't on the topic, this surfaced like a eureka moment. Having a sober birthday was the light bulb needed after struggling within myself for hours.
Thoughts immediately went to, why? Why do I want to have a sober birthday? Again, the answer came to me with ease... Because this year needs to be different. Mind blown! How proud I am of these thoughts is immeasurable. So true and fitting is this decision. Upon thinking further, realizing I've had no sober birthdays since the age of 14.
As I write this quick post, it helps hold me accountable to my decision. Will I be mad at myself for straying off the path? No, but after working through this, my confidence is high. Repeating the same patterns won't produce different results. My thirty second year will have as many positive changes as possible! At times extremes need to happen in order for change to occur. Not as punishment but as a sign of hope, and strength.
Drinking isn't something I'm quitting all together. It's merely taking a back seat, as it's hindering to my path. Drinking became a pain reliever for me because, are you ready for this? Another allergy resulting from my endometriosis treatments... Pain med allergy! Every one of them! The good kind at least haha. This fight with my back has been without pain meds, excluding IB Prophen, hence the added difficulty.
I'm ready to rock this birthday! Going into my thirty second year is the most amazing birthday to date! I've pushed my body to limits I thought impossible. Goals are crushed, and barriers broken! Next year I'll look back on this post and remember the beginning of my journey. Stay humble future self. My goals are meant to be fulfilled, and new ones should replace them no matter the progress.
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